1. |
She Got Married
00:45
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She got married
And I got laid off from my job
And my car got broken into
And I developed a new allergy
And I got prescribed Lexapro
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2. |
Denise
01:37
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Denise - Why won’t you return my letters?
Denise - I hope Hillman treats you better
Denise – Please don’t mind I’m only 14
Denise – Your show aired the same year I was born
Why’s your dad such a creepy guy?
What’s this I hear about Spanish fly?
I’m so happy you moved out of home
It’s a different world don’t face it on your own
Denise – what’s the deal with Lenny Kravitz?
Denise – I heard he has a bad drug habit
Denise – Please move back to California
Denise – White teenager’s waiting for ya
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3. |
Brad
00:51
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|
You said that your friend Brad
He wants to be a cop one of these days
I said that your friend Brad sounds like a piece of shit
You said hey don’t worry he’ll be one of the good ones wait and see
I said that your friend Brad sounds like a lying dick
Cause every single donut eating handgun wielding pig in training
Claims to be the exception to the rule that we all know
Your friend is just a racist power hungry frat boy
Looking for a job where he gets to play guns all day
You said that your friend Brad
He wants to be a cop one of these days
Well he’s no friend of mine
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4. |
Lucy
01:21
|
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|
I ate the Oreo it was laced with something
|
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5. |
Dickless
01:30
|
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|
Yes it’s true this man has no dick
Well that’s what I heard
Human sacrifice
Dogs and cats living together
Mass hysteria
What about the Twinkie?
|
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6. |
Drink Tickets
01:35
|
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|
I don’t care if the vans parked far away
And I don’t care if the sky is pouring rain
All I want is a drink ticket
I don’t care about the math band’s pedal board
And I don’t care if I screw up the power chords
All I want is a drink ticket
I didn’t come all this way not to get just one free beer
I promise that I’ll leave a tip
It’s just the laws in this town are draconian
I’m not trying to be a dick
I don’t care if we don’t sell any shirts
And I don’t care if the microphone shocks hurt
All I want is a drink ticket
I don’t care about the hardcore bridge breakdown
And I don’t care about the drive to the next town
All I want is a drink ticket
I didn’t come all this way
Not to get just one free beer
But if not I have a plan
Just let me know when it’s time to get on stage
And until then I’ll be drinking in the van
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7. |
I am a Platypus
00:47
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Holding down the fort for all Ornithorhynchidae
Stay away from my back feet or you will fucking die
I am a platypus
Laying eggs like echidnas cause I don’t fit your rules
Use electroreception to find my favorite food
|
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8. |
Jerry
00:52
|
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|
Halloween in my head
Return of the fly
I want your skulls
We are one last caress
R – A - T
you better think about it baby
|
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9. |
Cryin' in the Walk-In
01:27
|
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|
Cryin’ in the walk in
Getting tired of the shit
Really wanna end me shift
So I’m cryin’ in the walk in
Cryin’ in the walk in
Yeah it’s all a little much
Tween the lunch and dinner rush
So I’m cryin’ in the walk in
These tears are cold
I’m getting old
It’s getting old
These tears are cold
|
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10. |
Geez Louise
00:58
|
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|
Geez Louise you’ve got me on my knees
I’m begging please will you come back to me
Geez Louise it’s like I’m holding in a sneeze
Say to me we’ll remake how it used to be
Louise Louise
Geez Louise I got a heart like Swiss cheese
Lungs are in a squeeze stomach’s filled with killer bees
Geez Louise I’m sailing in some stormy seas
I’m no Hercules just a mortal under sorcery
Louise Louise
|
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11. |
Soak an Eye
00:20
|
|||
|
You can run fast well so can I
So can I
You can run fast as lightening so can I
So can I
|
||||
12. |
Qanon Mom
00:39
|
|||
|
Well she’s got an 8Chan password and a master plan
Couple teenagers in a minivan
She’s a Q Anon mom
She knows a thing about adrenochrome
And getting bench adds for selling homes
She’s always talking about the drops and the coming end
Oh god it’s so embarrassing when I’m with my friends
And I wish she’d do away with all the nonsense
But I still need a ride home from band practice
|
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13. |
Tower
01:34
|
|||
|
It’s not a tree it’s a cell phone tower
It’s not a Lowes it’s a cell phone tower
Not a guitar it’s a cell phone tower
I’m not a guy I’m a cell phone tower
|
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14. |
Take Me Away
02:00
|
|||
|
A strong narrowband radio signal
Shoots across the sky
Little green men in a silver spaceship
Answer Arcibo with “why?”
They want our resources and information
We want all the same things so I say
Take me away
We got war and famine, Tucker Carlson
Aging punk rock bros
Pollution, sandals with socks
Wasps and homophobes
What’s over there?
Take me away
|
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15. |
||||
16. |
Abort the Babies
01:40
|
|||
|
Somewhere in Texas there’s some old me writing laws
Trying to make a monster grasping women’s organs with its claws
They say that it’s a virtue looking out for the unborn
All the while knowing full well once it’s born they’ll just be dead beat dads so
Abort the babies
Cause it’s what they hate to see
And nothing feels as good as pissing off the GOP
Abort the babies
Cause there’s no such thing as hell
And even if there was it’s just a tiny clump of cells
The Christians like to tell you that abortion is a sin
While scamming money out of grandmas and molesting little kids
They ruin movie theaters, restaurants and even shows
So you might as well expel them and collect the PTO
Abort the babies
Cause what Malthus said is true
The world has gone to dogs no use in bringing someone new
Abort the babies
They’re no good for anyone
A selfish self-reflection shoved in everybody’s mug
|
||||
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